Chapter 10
Snape hurriedly pushed passed any Death Eaters in his way as he ascended up the dank winding stairs that lead to the chamber that Lord Voldermort was residing in at the top of the castles main tower. He wasn't in control of his breathing and he was dizzy with it, if he was in a sounder mind he would reconsider his actions to be too dangerous but what he had just heard from Lucius Malfoy had alarmed him to the point of deliriousness.
He had enough nous left to at least knock and wait; bursting into a room that contained Lord Voldermort would result in being greeted with the Criusous curse at least. He stood waiting just long enough for his senses to regain control.
"Enter!" came a venomous voice, the sound of someone you would not want to interrupt. Snape quietly walked into the room, closing the door softly behind him, as if that would make a difference.
"Severus, your visit is unannounced; do you have more information for me?" Voldermort was sitting on a throne-like chair that faced a window to the west, taking in the view for miles around.
"No my Lord" he walked into Voldermort's line of sight but kept as much distance as possible.
"So why do you feel you can disturb me?" His eyes near slits, his lips curled displaying his nasty yellow teeth.
"It-it's about the prophecy Master" Snape tried not too sound nervous.
"Yes, you have done well, we have narrowed it down to two boys, I trust Malfoy has told you it's the Potters?" Voldermort grinned with sickening vindictiveness "All we need now is a little time to locate them, but I have people working on that"
For one moment there seemed a shadow of hope "But it might be the. the other boy you mentioned, maybe it isn't the P-Potters" The words stumbled awkwardly from Snape's lips in almost a whisper, like someone else was saying them.
"Are you questioning my instincts Snape?" The Dark Lords voice was sharp with his short temper.
"No sir - no master" Snape fell away, bowing with subservience; he could see Voldermort was getting increasingly irritated and yet he carried on unable to stop himself.
"My Lord, L-Lily Evans - Lily Potter, you have to kill the boy, but - but not her. she is of no danger to you" The sentence was coming out all wrong; his heart was pounding.
"So now you are telling me what I can or can't do!" The Dark Lord screeched as he got out of his chair and walked directly at Snape.
"No never, Lord ..please .." Snape knelt at Voldermort's feet "spare her - I beg you! Kill the others but Master - please - please not her"
Voldermort was revolted by this twisted display of humanity "Since when have you known me to show mercy" He kicked Snape hard in the ribs "Now get up and remember who you are"
Snape stumbled painfully to his feet, "I shall hear no more of this do you understand?" Voldermort hissed "One more word and I'll have the Imperius Curse make you do it for me"
"No - no sir!" He would die before he would let that happen.
Voldermort turned his back and Snape cowered into the corner of the room. The Dark Lord stood motionless for a few moments and Snape stared at the back of his head, desperately trying to read his thoughts, change his mind.
Then, oddly, Voldermort let out a sigh.
"This is what I will do for you Severus" Snape's black eyes lit up "Firstly I will not kill you, even though I should for your impertinence, if you hadn't had been so valuable to me recently, then I would make no qualm of it. But I will also give you the pick of any of the female Death Eaters, pureblood, wealthy, anyone you choose and they will be yours. I have showed you great leniency tonight, like I have shown no other. Work these childish ways out of your system and do not insult me again."
Snape's greasy black hair lay tangled across his face and behind his eyes filled with tears. His heart was breaking. At that moment then, he realised he was deeply afraid, not for himself, not of The Dark Lord, but of his thought process, his logic, he was not human, he didn't understand anything about being human.
Voldermort spun around expecting an answer.
"T-Thank you Master" Snape quickly supplied it, bowing low to hide his emotions.
"Now Get Out" Voldermort punctuated each word like there was a bad taste in his mouth.
"Yes my Lord" Hands holding his ribs, back hunched, head low, daring to look only at the ground in front of him.
He hid in the shadows of the dark corridor outside of Voldermort's chamber, gathering himself, suppressing his emotions for the long walk down, through the various gatherings of fellow Death Eaters he would have to encounter. Whether it was a sudden moment of clarity or whether they'd finally killed that Aura they'd been torturing, Snape smelt the stench of the hot thick air all around him. He had to get out, into the open.
He walked slowly but directly towards the main gates, nonchalantly acknowledging anyone who spoke to him, but his stride did not break. As soon as he was clear of the castle, he turned to the East, walking into a cold wind and the barren wilderness. He wished this wind would cut through him and blow away the guilt clinging to his insides.
It was over, there was nothing he could do and it was his entire fault. He'd got Lily killed. Someone was going to die, he knew that when he relayed what he had heard of the prophecy, but people died all the time, he never considered who, he hadn't thought to care. His thoughts had been consumed with politics and loyalty to The Dark Lord. Politics between Death Eater rivalries, politics of the pure blood wizard that right now weighed too ironic.
He couldn't reconcile that this was it. There must be something he could do? Something to reverse what he had done. If he knew where she lived he could rescue her.
But she would never go with him.
So much time had passed since their school days. If he couldn't convince her then that he didn't think of her as a mudblood whilst being tortured and humiliated, how could he convince her now - as a Death Eater - to leave her house, her family and flee. Snape felt in the pit of his stomach that she had been proved right about him all along.
If only he could go back there, to that day, when it all went so horribly wrong. Why did he sit in the sunshine when he could have stayed in the Slytherin common room? If he'd had just stayed out of the way. If he could just go back there and change things...
...that was the answer; Hogwarts.
Albus Dumbledore was one of the only wizards left that could rival Lord Voldermort. And fight vigorously as he did.
But this was dangerous, Snape shuddered and spun round, he could almost feel a presence behind him, the presence of The Dark Lord burrowing into his mind, sucking out his thoughts. He'd practiced Occulancy over the years due to his own paranoia, but that was well placed given what he'd witnessed happen to weaker wizards.
He knew the actions that he was about to take, if they were ever found out, if his guard slipped for a fraction, his future would leave him begging for the Dementors kiss to finally come. This was treason, but as long as she lived, consequences were for another day.
But the concept was full of flaws, he couldn't get anywhere near Dumbledore or Hogwarts without being killed or captured or worst witnessed. How on earth would he be able to get Dumbledore on neutral ground? Snape wasn't walking in a direction any more; he was pacing the ground deep in thought, running scenarios through his mind.
He had an idea, but it involved using magic he hadn't used since his days at Hogwarts. Most of the magic he now used was dark and harsh and approved by Voldermort.
He apparated as close to Hogwarts as he dared, amongst the densely wooded hills a few miles away from Hogsmeade. He was on a hilltop where all around him was the din of the trees rustling and the wind howling. It was hard to concentrate with the wind whipping through his clothes and blowing his hair in every direction, but he closed his eyes and thought of Lily.
.the last time he saw her, she had just got married, she was in her house brushing her hair in front of the mirror. And then he walked in.
This was no good.
Someone must have spotted him spying because they moved days after. He thought further back, to their school days ..
.. it was the summer holidays after their first year at Hogwarts, and they spent every day in the sunshine, in the woods or the park or walking through the fields. Her sister wasn't there; it was just the two them talking about their past year. Talking about spells they had learnt and ones they couldn't master, about their different common rooms and the teachers they laughed at, teachers they hated, the homework they always hated, about flying and Quidditch and how they were missing pumpkin juice. It was their world, their own world and it was wonderful. It was the happiest time of Snape's life.
" Expecto Patronum " He shouted the words out and a stunning silver doe burst from the end of his wand and cantered upwards into the sky; over the hills and village, towards the towers of the castle beyond.
When the distant radiance of the doe was finally out of sight, Snape was left alone with the rushing wind all around him. It ferociously moved the branches of the trees making it impossible to tell if anyone was out there. He looked round in all directions and started to panic. What if Dumbledore didn't come or if someone else had followed him, another Death Eater or The Dark Lord himself? What if Dumbledore did come and he wouldn't listen or didn't even give him the opportunity to speak? His plan lynched on Dumbledore being reasonable, there was no cause to believe that he would be, since Snape had overheard the conversation about the prophecy he had had with Trelawney in the Hogs Head. Since he had caused this turn of events.
Snape was now fairly terrified but his feet wouldn't move. He didn't notice the doe had returned, it flew high above his head and disappeared. He was convincing himself over and over again that good men like Dumbledore would welcome the opportunity to save life.
Then out of nowhere a flash of light knocked him off his feet, his wand flew out of his hands into the darkness of the undergrowth. Snape threw his hands into the air.
"Don't kill me"
"That wasn't my intention" Dumbledore stood in front of him, great and powerful, the light from his wand illuminating his face, the wind rippling through his cloak. "Well Severus? What message does Lord Voldermort have for me?"
"No - no message - I'm here of my own account! I - I come with a warning - no a request - please"
Dumbledore flicked his wand and silence fell over them. The trees swayed violently in the wind but they did so in deathly silence.
"What request does a Death Eater make of me?" Dumbledore frowned quizzically.
"The - the prophecy . the prediction. Trelawney .. "
"Ah yes, how much did you relay to Lord Voldermort?" said Dumbledore.
"Everything - everything I heard, that is why - it is for that reason - he thinks it means Lily Evans!" Snape blurted awkwardly.
Dumbledore feigned confusion; "The prophecy did not refer to a woman, it spoke of a boy born at the end of July"
"You know what I mean" Snape jumped in "He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down - kill them all!"
Dumbledore looked at him sideways "If she means so much to you surely Lord Voldermort would spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother in exchange for her son?"
"I have - I have asked him"
Dumbledore glared with utter revulsion "You disgust me"
Snape only just realised how the words would sound in the context of the normal world as opposed to the world Voldermort had them all living in these past years.
"You do not care then" Dumbledore went on "about the death of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?"
Snape thought that a fairly accurate assumption (even pleasing) but dare not say it, his big black eyes looked up into Dumbledore's face and he said "Hide them all, keep her - them - safe. Please" as much as it pained him, much as he hated Potter he'd still preferred her to spend her life with him than not at all.
"And what will you give me in return Severus?" said Dumbledore.
Snape was shocked "In - in return?" This wasn't a question he had expected to be asked, by Dumbledore; Voldermort maybe ..
"Anything" he said trembling at the thought that he might actually have saved her.
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, maybe there was some humanity left in there somewhere. He paused for a few moments and paced for effect, whilst Snape followed his every movement.
"Very well" But I shall call upon you to repay your debt.
Snape nodded without giving it much thought. Dumbledore disapparated and the rushing noise returned.
He was now alone and he felt vulnerable for it. He would have to protect himself, regain The Dark Lords respect, prove his activities as a loyal servant, be seen networking with the other Death Eaters. He should like to pay a visit to Malfoy manor anyway, to see their young son. After all without knowing it, Malfoy had done him a great favour.
